


If I Can't Love Her

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, F/M, Filk, Gen, Poetry, Romance, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-10-01
Updated: 1999-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-10 15:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Music video about Kowalski and Frannie.  Kowalski finally knows how he feels-- can he tell Frannie?





	If I Can't Love Her

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).
    
    
    Disclaimer: Hey, Aliiance Communications Corp, et al, guess what! I know
    these guys don't belong to me! I never for a moment thought they did!
    Thank you very much for letting me borrow them; you are very kind!! 
    
    PS- the song, "If I Can't Love Her" is off the "Beauty and the Beast:
    the Broadway Musical" soundtrack
    
    "If I Can't Love Her"
    
    by Compass
    
    (as the music rises, we see Kowalski joking with Frannie.  He wears a
    characteristic smirk, but we can see in his eyes that his heart isn't
    quite in it.  As the words begin, he turns and walks off.  Frannie watches
    him, and we see there is puzzlement in her eyes)
    
    And in my twisted face there's not the slightest trace 
    Of anything that even hints at kindness
    
    (As the song continues, we see Kowalski is in the closet.  He's gone
    there for escape.  He huddles in the corner, head leaning back against
    the wall, eyes squeezed shut.  The camera spirals down on him.)
    
    And from my tortured shape, no comfort, no escape.
    I see, but deep within is utter blindness
    
    (a tear trickles down Kowalski's face)
    
    Hopeless, as my dream dies
    As the time flies
    Love a lost illusion 
    
    (He stands quickly, throwing a punch at a nearby, brown paper package,
    denting it and sinking back to his knees)
    
    Helpless, unforgiven
    Cold and driven to this sad conclusion
    
    (He leaves the closet, eyes clear now, and sees Frannie as the words
    continue.  He follows her to the breakroom, where he proceeds to get
    a cup of coffee to hide his odd behavior, all the while glancing surreptitiously
    in Francesca's direction.)
    
    No beauty could move me,
    No goodness improve me,
    No power on earth, if I can't love her.
    
    (Francesca notices his glances, and returns them with her own curious
    gaze.  Upon seeing she notices him, Kowalski hurriedly leaves the breakroom,
    leaving a puzzled Francesca behind.  But realization has begun to dawn
    in her eyes)
    
    No passion could reach me, 
    No lesson could teach me.
    How I could have loved her, and make her love me, too.
    If I can't love her,
    Then who?
    
    (Scene switches abrubtly to a new scene.  Time has elapsed. Kowalski
    is sitting at his desk, staring over at Francesca, who is obviously aware
    of his gaze but unsure what to do about it.  As the words begin again,
    Kowalski stands and begins to walk to Frannie's desk, purposeful: we
    all know what he's going to tell her.  Frannie, glancing up from her
    paperwork, sees him and looks back down quickly, a grin on her face.
    She's obviously come to the conclusion that she feels the same for him
    as he does for her.  Excitement seems to crackle between them)
    
    Long ago I should have seen
    All the things I could have been
    Careless and unthinking I moved onward
    
    (suddenly, a man bearing a bouquet of roses swoops down from behind Frannie,
    planting a kiss on her cheek, obviously taking her by surprise: an old
    friend, reuniting with her for a lunch date.  Frannie looks pleased;
    Kowalski looks stricken.  He's frozen in place, eyes lost. Realization
    at what this must look like hits Frannie, and she turns a frantic gaze
    to Kowalski, as though begging him not to cease and desist what he was
    doing.  But Kowalski feels betrayed, unwanted, and as the words start
    again, he backs away and begins to jog from the squadroom, picking up
    speed as he does)
    
    No pain could be deeper,
    No life could be cheaper,
    
    (Frannie wrenches herself from her friend's hold and follows Kowalski)
    
    No point anymore
    If I can't love her
    
    (Kowalski bursts from the front doors of the CPD, pain etched on his
    face)
    
    No spirit could win me,
    No hope left within me;
    Hope I could have loved her, and that she'd set me free!
    
    (Frannie comes to the door on the last line, grabbing it as it swings
    closed.  She watches Kowalski's fleeing form, and screams out his name.
    We see her mouth form the syllables, "Ko-wal-ski!"  But he's gone) 
    
    But it's not to be.
    If I can't love her
    
    (Kowalski runs down the sidewalk, faster and faster, knocking aside pedestrians
    as he goes.)
    
    Let the world be done with me!
    
    (as the last note hangs, our picture switches back and forth: Kowalski
    running; Frannie sinking down against the doorframe of the CPD;
    Kowalski pulling to a stop and leaning shakily against an alley wall,
    eyes closed;  Frannie crying on the steps of the police department.)
    
    Music down
    
    Fade to black
    
    The End
    
    Well, what do you think? Does the song fit the mood? I love this song,
    and one day it just hit me that it was the perfect Kowalski/Francesca
    tune. This was fun! Maybe I'll try it again sometime.....
    
    


End file.
